As an implacable stone gaze looks on,
Pitiless and cold,
Withholding any meaning
From the timid anguished rider
And destroying demon bold.
One slumps leaden in defeat,
The other stamps with dreadful glee;
If they'd meet at my soul's fulcrum
Then they'd both let me be free.
One's thoughts weigh more than oceans,
Dreadful fathoms of despair,
The others ticking, flicking thoughts
Are lighter than the air.
One builds not but holds the oceans,
The other labours night and day,
Turning all that's builded up before
To chaos and dismay.
One can never summon Hope,
The future is a turning knife.
The other's plans are towers
Of gleaming fire and brittle ice.
The seesaw hangs in the balance,
I found you once at the fulcrum
And joy spread, like a wave of sunshine,
Over my life.
But when I returned to the fulcrum,
The stooped crippled wretch
And broker of confusion
Had let out the tide
Through my soul.(c) Tales of Seamus 2004 - 2012
I'm reading this as if it's two sides of 'you' or one person. The poem is really good, though I thought the end gets rhythmically wearker, and stronger in meaning, so I got somewhat lost - easy to lose me :) Would suggest some small revision from 'Over my whole life'.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly is two sides - mania and depression of bipolar disorder - please do read the poem again as I have had to manually put in the line-breaks as they didn't copy over from my cut and paste onto here - hopefully the structure will aid the translation of thoughts - the departure from a rhyme scheme is deliberate. Let me know what you think now :)
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, that's much better, makes much more sense now, and give a somewhat different meaning. To be honest, I think I read it in the light of other poems, well, except the first one, which I had to shake off since... Well, it's really just about your ego, isn't it? Your ego enjoyed her love, took you a while to realise that she's so hurt that she's gone, now that you've noticed your ego is depleted, you want her love back, without much concern for her well being even after you say: I must have seemed like a 'right prick' - hmm :) Anyways, leaving that one aside, I get the others and this one so much better. Very cool! Look forward to more of this :)
ReplyDeleteMy ego? No it isn't at all - but I'll comment against that poem as that makes more sense.
ReplyDelete